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I watched the Big Brother finale last night to see if my buddy Dan Gheesling walked away with $500,000 again. He didn’t (sorry, spoiler alert). It was actually Ian, the engineering student who has been watching the show since he was ten years old, who won the money – and my heart.

He reminds me of that guy in Road Trip who falls in love with that zaftig leopard print undie loving lover.

I don’t regularly watch Big Brother, so I was utterly confused as to what HOH meant and why Danielle and Ian were throwing challenges. So I’ll let the experts over at HuffPo handle this one.

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For our northern neighbors who feel left out watching the Big Brother 14 team trot around a track in a fake horse costume trying yank off a competitors tail on last night’s episode – you’re in luck!

You too, can apply and audition for Big Brother Canada, and get the chance and reality TV fame and fortune! And you can do it SOON!

Here’s what I know:

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Summer has officially started in Reality TV Land, Big Brother has begun!

Big Brother 14 premieres Thursday night – and the world will finally get meet to the bikini clad cast … as well as four former house guests who come back to coach and mentor newbies in hopes of making them $500,000 richer. (They get $100k if they do!)

Even though I’m a reality TV expert with all sorts of secrets and insights on the casting process, I’ve never really written about Big Brother before (one of the most clandestine shows of all), nor have I gotten as obsessed about it as other reality shows. (Yes, Bachelorette, I am talking to you.) But I am SO watching Big Brother this year, and I’ll tell you why: It starts with a D and ends with a Gheesling. Yup! My old friend Dan Gheesling is BACK on the show! Your remember him. He’s the hunky guy from Season 10 that walked away with a giant, novelty check worth $500,000.

I know Dan from way back in my Survivor casting days, when I brought him in for semi-finals in Chicago. He was so cute, a little cocky and genuinely nice. And he still is! While he didn’t make Survivor,  from what he tells me – NOT getting that show helped him get on Big Brother. Read his book and you’ll find out how.

I’m in it, too!

I think, since I knew him way before Big Brother fame, I might be his biggest fan! I still have his Survivor application floating around somewhere, I’m sure scribbled with my notes about what a charmer he was.

So, in honor of Dan Gheesling’s return to prime time, Here’s a FREE TIP for anyone who wants to get on reality TV, taken right from Dan Gheesling book of life.

WEAR A TUX.

Not to the interview, that would be weird. But maybe in one of the photos you submit. Dan did. And it caught my eye. It was unexpected to see a guy wearing a dashing tux applying for a cut throat, bug eating, sleep in-the-dirt show.

If you don’t have a penguin suit, try to snap a photo that makes you absolutely shimmer with personality. Dogs and babies always help. Here’s a good example from my own life:

I mean, come on!

Okay, I have to go WATCH Big Brother 14 now. Good luck Dan! Me and my dog hope you win!

 

Welp, I know what I’ll be doing this summer. Just look at all of these reality TV shows! LOVE!!

Here’s the full release schedule for you (Thank you, Reality Nation, for the list!)

June

sarah monson explains why canadians cant apply to survivor amazing race and big brother

Oh, Canada!

You are an awesome country with awesome people. You make America better looking by proxy. You’ve given us Ryan Reynolds AND Ryan Gosling.

You make us sound cool. (Thank you Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette). And your TV shows aren’t bad either. (Degrassi High, forever).

That being said, why can’t the fine people that reside north of our border get cast on American reality TV shows like Survivor and Big Brother?

I’ve been getting this questions for years and it’s time you knew the truth! No, it’s not some big anti-Canadian conspiracy…

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I’m from the Northwest, so I have to give my reality tv hometown homies a heads up: Big Brother is coming to the greater Seattle area. They’re on the hunt to cast Big Brother 14 hopefuls.

You’ll find more Open Call info inside, and get a chance to nab never before revealed Open Call tips and tricks from yours truly.

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Big Brother is back and looking for the next big winner. To apply, the process looks easy breezy – just go their website, fill out the form, upload a video and wait for that call, right?

Not so fast.

Yes, they’ve streamlined the application process – but that isn’t to make it easier on you.

It’s to make it easier on them.

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