Jersey Shore is the reason people hate America. After last night’s episode I wanted to join a nunnery and wash MY mouth out with soap.
I seriously hate watching this show. It really makes me dumb and irrationally angry. Kinda like JWoww.
Here’s a recap so you don’t have to suffer through it:
1. Sammi finds a NOTE planted by Dweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb (JTits and Skanky) revealing Ronnie’s naughty behavior. They say they’ll “dead” everyone in the house if they tell Sammi.
2. Sammi asks everyone in the house who wrote it, including JTits and Skanky.
3. Everyone plays dumb. (They have MY Oscar vote. Sooo convincing.)
4. Sammi confronts Ronnie. He admits to SOME of it. She kinda sorta but not really dumps him and then, like three minutes later is back in his arms. Poor girl.
5. The Situation displays a level of dickery that would make even the most hardened criminal smile. He picks a girl up a bar, takes her home, puts her in his room, EATS A FULL FUCKING ITALIAN MEAL, goes back in the room presumably without brushing his teeth, has sex with her, makes her leave.
6. He gets his comeuppance though. A little while later he gets picked up by a tranny in a bar and totally makes out with her. HAHAHAH. That douche.
7. Meanwhile… JWoww, like a rabid dog who doesn’t even know what it’s barking at, attacks Sammi in the name of “I was trying to be a good friend and totally screw your life up by planting a note, denying the note and then getting mad at you for not appreciating all I went through to ruin your life.”
8. The episode ended with Sammi clocking JWoww in the jaw.
9. Oh yeah… Snooki hooked up with Vinny. Apparently he has a big dong.
Can I go gauge my eyes out now?
7 Comments to “JWoww to The Situation: I’ll Dead You As A Friend”
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