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Jersey Shore is the reason people hate America.  After last night’s episode I wanted to join a nunnery and wash MY mouth out with soap.

I seriously hate watching this show.  It really makes me dumb and irrationally angry.  Kinda like JWoww.

Here’s a recap so you don’t have to suffer through it:

1. Sammi finds a NOTE planted by Dweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb (JTits and Skanky) revealing Ronnie’s naughty behavior.  They say they’ll “dead” everyone in the house if they tell Sammi.

2. Sammi asks everyone in the house who wrote it, including JTits and Skanky.

3. Everyone plays dumb.  (They have MY Oscar vote.  Sooo convincing.)

4. Sammi confronts Ronnie.  He admits to SOME of it.  She kinda sorta but not really dumps him and then, like three minutes later is back in his arms.  Poor girl.

5. The Situation displays a level of dickery that would make even the most hardened criminal smile.  He picks a girl up a bar, takes her home, puts her in his room, EATS A FULL FUCKING ITALIAN MEAL, goes back in the room presumably without brushing his teeth, has sex with her, makes her leave.

6. He gets his comeuppance though.  A little while later he gets picked up by a tranny in a bar and totally makes out with her.  HAHAHAH.  That douche.

7. Meanwhile… JWoww, like a rabid dog who doesn’t even know what it’s barking at, attacks Sammi in the name of “I was trying to be a good friend and totally screw your life up by planting a note, denying the note and then getting mad at you for not appreciating all I went through to ruin your life.”

8. The episode ended with Sammi clocking JWoww in the jaw.

9. Oh yeah… Snooki hooked up with Vinny.  Apparently he has a big dong.

The End.

Can I go gauge my eyes out now?

7 Comments to “JWoww to The Situation: I’ll Dead You As A Friend”

  • You hate it so much you watch it every week.

  • I’m fully aware that I’m a hypocrite. Believe me, I’m not proud.

  • It can only be a matter of time before we have a reality TV show which features other people reacting to a reality TV show. Something like ‘I Can’t Believe I’m Watching This! Get Me Out Of Here’. It would be like meta crossover hyper-real heaven. I’d watch it AND be in it. At the same time. I should pitch this to ITV.

  • Oooh.. that would TOTALLY be a hit! I think youre on to something!

  • Time for you to start proof reading your posts.
    “Can I go gauge my eyes out now?”
    Spell check doesn’t help when you correctly type the wrong word.

    How about; “gouge”

    As for Jersey Shore, I can always say; “It could be worse. It could be me.”


  • You know, i thought that was the wrong word too – but I am such a slave to spell check that I went with it. Can i go MEASURE my eyeballs out now?? Hahaha.

  • [...] preppy, overpriced retailer is so opposed to The Situation donning the A&C logo, that they’ve proposed to pay him NOT to wear their [...]

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