Tonight’s Bachelorette boldly goes where no Bachelorette has gone before. Except for last season and the season before that. The episode starts with Chris Harrison informing the Bachelors that they’ll be leaving the mansion forever and heading to where they filmed the Hangover 2. Yup, The Bachelorette is going to Thailand.
Once nestled into a cushy resort far away from the grit and grime, Constantine scores the first date card. Rainy weather ruins Ashley’s plan to jet out to a private island and get their Survivor on. Instead, they ditch the boat and head into town where they get matching Mike Tyson face tattoos.
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As per usual, last night’s The Bachelorette did not disappoint. How could it when in the first 30 seconds you were promised flash mobs, freak-outs and fake tears?
Let’s start at the beginning. Bacherlorette Ashley takes Ben, a lawyer from “N’awlins,” to a dance studio where they learn a totally dumb dance. Pop quiz: How do you make an awkward first date even more awkward? Answer: Force your suitor to dance in the middle of a field with hundreds of people watching. Now, how do you make that into good TV? Turn it into a flash mob. That’s exactly what Ashley did. And yes, it was super lame.
The next day, the masked avenger, Jeff, finally reveals what’s under his utterly ridiculous mask. Is it a giant mole? A lazy eye? Nope, just an old guy, according to Ashley.
Oh, Ashley, what have you gotten yourself into? In the first 30 seconds of last night’s The Bachelorette, we see Ashley possibly getting married to one guy in Vegas while seeing another guy admit he has zero interest in his Bachelorette—other than in her tight butt.
I missed last week’s episode, so it was nice to see a mansion swarming with reasonably attractive guys. Most are hot, one is weird. The weird one, mind you, is intentionally being a douche by wearing an Eyes Wide Shut mask to cover his mug so Ashley can get to know the real him before she sees what he looks like. If he really wanted her to get to know the real him, he should be wearing an “I’m With Stupid” T-shirt.
The Bachelor episode five starts off with a twist. The 11 remaining girls say see ya to the mansion in LA and head to Las Vegas. Land of sin and sand, Brad wastes no time wooing his women. He checks them into a fancy schmancy hotel suite and shells out the first date card to Shawntel N.
Just a small town girl, Shawntel N. has no idea what she’s in for. Brad presents her with every girls dream…a shopping spree. And not just at the local mall. We’re talking Fendi, Prada and Gucci here. Brad, with an eyebrow-raising ability to channel his inner fashionista, helps Shawntel N. pick out some slamming outfits. Then, he piles about 50 bags on her shoulders and sends her back to the suite. Bad idea. Jaws drop and jealously bubbles as the other ten girls see the booty Shawntel N. has been bestowed with. Michelle cannot stand it, per usual, and mimics hanging herself. Oh, to dream…
Why does every episode of “The Bachelor” have the most dramatic rose ceremony ever?
Unless someone poops on the floor ala “Flava of Love,” the most dramatic things happening at these rose ceremonies are the number of times the camera cuts back and forth between Jake and his harem’s stressed out faces. I’m surprised no one has turned that into a drinking game yet.
I know I said I wasn’t going to wax on, wax off about reality shows, but since I am completely addicted to “The Bachelor” and I did help cast one season, I just had to share my thoughts.
My job at Blind Date was and will always be the best casting gig I have ever had. I loved the people I work with – five of them came to wedding years later -, I love the hours (10a a., – 3 p.m. daily!), and I have a major soft spot in my heart for Roger Lodge.
Overcome by nostalgia, I looked at some old emails while working at Blind Date. I have to say this, when you’ve been removed from something for long enough, you tend to view things through rose colored glasses. Yes, it was a super fun job, but some days I just couldn’t believe the kinds of people I had to cast for the show
Here are some of my most memorable casting notices I posted on MySpace. Which one would YOU answer?!
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