Just kidding. I know I’m not nearly as hot as she is.

But it is fun to play dress up. More to come!

Rarely in someone’s life do they actually get to spend time with a celebrity whom they harbored a secret crush on for years. Well, today, I got to hang out with TWO. I have been a die hard Kevin and Bean fan since 1998, when they forced Big Tad to live in a VW Beetle for a month.

In case you don’t live in Cali or wake up before 10 a.m., The Kevin & Bean Show is a morning radio show on the World Famous KROQ. I somehow fanagled my way on the show back in 2004 when I was working at Blind Date, and this morning, it came full circle when they asked me to come on the show and talk shop about all things reality TV.

Sarah Monson aka The Bitchlorette on The Kevin and Bean Show on KROQ

Click the above link to listen to the podcast of my segment from the show. Aside from a slight mic issue and me using words completely ass-backwards, I’d say the interview was a hit! I got to answer hard-hitting questions that a few listeners had and even got my picture taken with Kevin and Lisa May. (Bean lives in Seattle. Ralph, sadly, was not there either. He threw his back out!)

I go gaga for Ralph’s Showbiz Beat, and I’ve always wanted to meet him. So, maybe he’ll have me back on some day soon to gab about Emily Maynard’s poor choice in men.

Seriously. Such a fun day. I’ve never been so thrilled to wake up at 5 a.m.

The Bachelorette is back, and the single gal looking for love this time around is America’s most eligible Southern belle, Emily Maynard!

(I wrote this article for my peeps over at Wetpaint, but in honor of Emily’s big night, I wanted to post it here as well!)

If you’re a fan, you know the franchise loves throwing in dramatic twists just to keep things spicy. This season’s first shocking surprise? Instead of shipping a slew of eligible hunks to L.A. for some romancin’, they’re holing up in Emily’s hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina, so the single mom won’t have to be away from her little girl while husband hunting (until the whirlwind globetrotting dates kick in). Not to mention her reported salary is $250,000 (more than twice what’s normally paid, and more than any other contestant in the show’s history) and they’re supposedly letting her pick her own engagement ring!

I’m a reality TV casting director who’s cast a ton of reality shows (including The Bachelor), and I must say that this is a pretty unprecedented move on the producers’ part. Rarely does a show bend as much as it seems they’re bending for Emily. It just goes to show how much her fans (and advertisers) adore her.

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Happy Friday! I want to send you into your weekend with a little more insight into the world of reality TV casting and answer some burning questions that have been coming across my desk over the last week.

I hope these are enlightening!

Kim asked: How legit are those reality show websites that you have to sign up for?

The Bitchlorette says: Depends on the site. As with any website, you have to make sure you’re not handing your personal info over a phisher or spammer or hacker (those sounds like celebrity baby names, no?). I’m a fan of simply going to the network website or production company to apply for a show – but often times you might not know which is what or where to find them. So yes, sites like RealityWanted.com are a great resource to see what’s out there. You do have to sign up, add a photo and fill in some basic stats to get full access, though. They also offer a paid membership for those who want to get a more robust experience. Also, Infolist.com is newer site with less bells and whistles than RealityWanted, but it offers up a lot of Now Casting info and show biz news and happenings. You also have to sign up for this, though no pictures o height/weight stats are required. I’m a member of both!

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Oh, Canada!

You are an awesome country with awesome people. You make America better looking by proxy. You’ve given us Ryan Reynolds AND Ryan Gosling.

You make us sound cool. (Thank you Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette). And your TV shows aren’t bad either. (Degrassi High, forever).

That being said, why can’t the fine people that reside north of our border get cast on American reality TV shows like Survivor and Big Brother?

I’ve been getting this questions for years and it’s time you knew the truth! No, it’s not some big anti-Canadian conspiracy…

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To every X Factor reality tv hopeful who waited until the last minute to apply – get on it!.

The X Factor USA Season Two deadline is tomorrow, April 27, and it may take you that long to get your audition done… if you start right now. No, not because you’re slow – but because the software you are forced to audition with on the X Factor USA auditioning site is, well, simply atrocious.

I spent five hours last night with a friend on her X Factor USA audition. One hour was spent coaching her on the actual audition, the other four were spent trying to get the stupid site to work!

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When I was interviewed on 20/20, I lent some advice to an article they posted on their site called “How To Become A Reality TV Star.” I think it gives some pretty good insight, so I wanted to share it here. Enjoy!

Want to trade real life for reality-TV stardom? Well, here are 20 tips from casting pros for how to avoid a wipeout and be a survivor in the shark tank that is reality-TV casting:

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I know when you think of a Reality-Show-Casting-Director-Turned-Writer, STYLISH is the first word that comes to mind. Let me just say, it’s true. I am… for a girl who spends most days writing from home in her pajamas.

So much so, the fabulous HGTV Design Star winner Emily Henderson (and her team of goddessess Lana and Linsday), asked me to write a piece for her kick-ass, uh-may-zing, 238-page Holiday Guide, which is available RIGHT NOW, starting today.

It’s a thick, juicy guide to help gift givers of navigate the murky waters of What-The-Hell-Do-I-Get-My-In-Laws Lake?

My piece is about how to craftily gift and re-gift inexpensive DIY presents that look pricy… for those special people in your life that you’d rather regal with a big, steamy lump of coal.

Check it out!

PS. Thank you Linz Loves You… for letting me temporarily borrow your beautiful Bitchlorette font for my site without asking first. :) I like to match. That’s why I’m so STYLISH.

For months, Ashley Hebert has been navigating the bumpy road towards matrimony. We’ve watched our bubbly Bachelorette laugh, cry, and thanks to Bentley, cry some more. But through all the helicopter rides up and Thai boxing knock downs, one thing has stayed the same: Ashley’s rockin’ bod.

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Tonight’s Bachelorette boldly goes where no Bachelorette has gone before. Except for last season and the season before that. The episode starts with Chris Harrison informing the Bachelors that they’ll be leaving the mansion forever and heading to where they filmed the Hangover 2. Yup, The Bachelorette is going to Thailand.

Once nestled into a cushy resort far away from the grit and grime, Constantine scores the first date card. Rainy weather ruins Ashley’s plan to jet out to a private island and get their Survivor on. Instead, they ditch the boat and head into town where they get matching Mike Tyson face tattoos.

Keep reading for more!
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